The Consequences of Separation

Chief Protector Neville’s theory that it’s best to take children when they are very young fails to consider, seriously enough, the impact on the family from which they are taken. It also fails quite badly to consider the impact on the child himself.

Infants go through stages of developing a sense of themselves as individuals.

The temper tantrums of a two year old mark the beginning of a child’s realisation that she is a separate person from her mother figure. During these ‘terrible twos’ a child comes to understand

·         there are rules;

·         she does not make the rules;

·         she needs to work out what the rules are;

·         she will be happier when she understands and follows the rules.

(If my own behaviour as a teenager is any guide, the terrible twos can go on for a very long time!)

No matter how independent a young boy may appear, he does not really let go of his mother-figure’s apron-strings until about 7 years of age. Until then, no matter how adventurous he is, he relies on the certainty that his primary carer is there for him.